president trump
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Eric ‘Vampire Face’ Trump: Dems Aren’t Even People
First and foremost, do we have proof that Eric Trump is not a vampire? He seriously looks as if he has actual vampire DNA; and if, in fact, the second Trump not named Ivanka is a bloodsucking revenant, then his comments made during a recent Fox News appearance make perfect sense. Eric “Vampire Diaries” Trump…
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Trump Tweets Are Now ‘Official Statements’ From President; He May Live-Tweet During James Comey’s Hearing
White House press secretary Sean “Spicy Facts” Spicer is up to his old tricks again. After several months of claiming that the press spends too much time paying attention to President Twitter Fingas’ timeline, Spicy now claims that the president’s tweets are official statements from the president and should be treated as such. This about-face…
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Represent the President or Nah? Top Lawyers Tell Trump to Kick Russian Rocks
Looks like President Vladimir TrumPutin is having trouble finding a law firm that’s willing to represent his lying ass in the Russia investigations, and that’s because the president has proved himself to be an untrustworthy client. According to several sources who spoke with Yahoo! News, four major law firms have passed on the opportunity to…
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Instead of Offering Compassion, Trump Condemns London’s Muslim Mayor in Wake of Terror Attack
Leave it to our tone-deaf president to use a tragic event and make it all the more so with his tiny Twitter fingers. In the wake of the London terror attack that left seven dead and 12 suspects arrested, President Donald Trump angrily twisted London Mayor Sadiq Khan’s words, basically branding him soft on terror.…
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Joe Scarborough: Steve Bannon Is Leaking All Jared Kushner-Russia Intel
I love nothing more than a good reality drama, and nothing is better than the reality-TV star-turned-president and his merry band of misfits. On Friday, Morning Joe co-host Joe Scarborough posited an interesting theory, and one that I think I can get behind. According to Scarborough’s sources inside the White House, White House chief political…
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Y’all’s President Just Put Captain Planet on Suicide Watch and Further Endangered the Entire World
When flooding gives way to the destruction of American coastal cities, when the increased droughts and decreases in annual water lead to fewer crops and greater hunger scares among the poorest, when the day comes that today’s warmest temperatures feel like cool breezes by comparison, and when the widespread political instability as a result of…
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Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump Get Into a Full ‘Covfefe’ on Twitter
I can’t lie; I love when the president wades in the petty pool. Is it embarrassing on a national stage? Of course it is! But what is the point of having a worthless president if he doesn’t do worthless stuff? At times I need him to prove just how petty and vindictive he truly is,…
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Sean ‘Spicy Facts’ Spicer: ‘Covfefe’ Is a Word to Those in the Know!
I love White House Press Secretary Sean “Spicy Facts” Spicer. I have ever since he took office, and mostly because he’s a goddamn embarrassment. He’s the mouthpiece for an administration whose members don’t seem to know their ass from their hat, so watching him walk out in front of a pressroom firing squad of reporters…
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Trump Continues Assault on Women; New Rule Moves to Allow Employers to Deny Birth Control Coverage
If the Trump administration has its way, religious employers will be allowed to deny their female employees contraceptive insurance coverage. Currently, under Obamacare, birth control is deemed an essential preventive health service that is fully covered. According to HuffPost, the White House Office of Management and Budget used its website to post that it was…
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Everything to Know About Trump Scandals This Week
President Donald Trump’s son-in-law, Jared “Got Dem Visas” Kushner, wanted to have a burner phone in the White House that was directly connected to Russia; the White House communications director has resigned; and someone tweeted some fake-ass message from Trump’s presidential Twitter account—you know, the one he doesn’t use—to condemn the terrorist attacks in Portland,…