president trump
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First Rocky, Now Thanos: We Are Being Governed by Evil Richie Rich
For those that don’t know, or aren’t old enough to remember, Richie Rich was a little white kid whose parents were so rich that by default he became the richest kid in America. Sadly, the president of the United States, in his stunted developmental growth is basically the evil version of the 1953 character who…
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Trump's Jenga Tower Set to Fall as Dems Unveil 2 Articles of Impeachment
And so it begins. The slippery slope leading the president into a fiery pit of embarrassment starts today after House Democrats unveiled two articles of impeachment against President Trump. According to the Washington Post, the articles of impeachment alleged that Trump “abused the power of his office and obstructed Congress in its investigation of his…
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President Face-Skin Doesn’t Match His Neck-Skin Calls Impeachment Hearings a ‘Big Time Hoax’
Stop me if you’ve heard this before. Seriously, stop me. Why aren’t you stopping me? The president got in front of cameras with his face all orange-y and his neck all white before leaving to go to London to argue some NATO shit that he doesn’t understand and told the cameras that the impeachment hearing…
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Donald Trump Makes Rare Public Appearance at World Series, Gets Hammered With ‘Lock Him Up,’ ‘Impeach Him’ Chants for His Trouble
Outside of campaign rallies filled to the brim with his fanatic worshippers or colleges packed with indoctrinated MAGAts, Donald Trump doesn’t really do public appearances. Maybe it’s because his tiny hands aren’t constructed for sturdy handshakes or perhaps it’s the fact that American citizens think he’s a bigger threat to world peace than either Vladimir…
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Trump Foolishly Compares Impeachment Inquiry to a Lynching: ‘Republicans Must Remember What They Are Witnessing Here’
Since the conclusion of the Civil War, lynching has been one of the country’s most prominent manifestations of racialized violence. These public displays of terrorism instilled fear in black communities and served as cruel reminders of our “place” in society. And so with all the emotions the mere mention of such a heinous act evokes,…
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Michael Jackson’s Will Has Reportedly Gone Missing. His Former Publicist Wants Trump’s Help to Find It
There is an unfortunate rollercoaster ride concerning Michael Jackson that keeps getting more and more odd as the days roll by. According to USA Today, Jackson’s former publicist Raymone Bain announced that the whereabouts of the late King of Pop’s will are unknown. The surprise press conference was held in Washington, D.C., on Thursday afternoon…
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Trump Mimics Asian Accent During Controversial Fundraiser in the Hamptons: Report
Equinox and SoulCycle owner Stephen Ross still held his Trump fundraiser this weekend because he’s not going to let a few celebrities and common folk scare him away from his love for white supremacy. Because Donald Trump is about as stable as a cracked egg being handled by a 2-year-old, the president of people who…
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Trump Is Absolutely Going to Commute Disgraced Politician Rod Blagojevich’s Sentence—and Here’s Why
It’s hard to remember a time when there was a politician arguably more corrupt than the current president, but that time was 2008, and the man was former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich. For those who don’t remember, Blagojevich was such a pariah in office that he was being investigated months after replacing George Ryan in…
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Trump Keeps Doing These Racist Morning Tweetstorms Because They Work
President Trump started out as the racist old man standing on his Twitter lawn yelling about the black kids driving fast through the neighborhood. Yes, he’s only yelling at the black kids, because he’s racist. With time and higher approval ratings, the further he goes into his racist bag; the president is becoming more emboldened,…
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President Who Can’t Read Wants Obama's Book Deal Investigated
Man, the president must be really pressed to come up with this doozy. On Wednesday, former special counsel Robert Mueller testified before the House Judiciary Committee and the House Intelligence Committee about the Russian investigation, which reignited impeachment discussions among Democrats. Clearly, this annoyed the president, because he called reporters into the Oval Office on…