president trump
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Got a Sunny D Zedong Supporter or Someone Almost as Stupid in Your Life? Dump ’Em
After 22 years of marriage, Gayle McCormick was suddenly no longer caught up in the rapture of love with her husband. McCormick is 73, a retired prison guard and a self-described “Democrat leaning toward socialist.” In other words, she is Bernie Sanders with a vagina. So when the ultraliberal Dorothy Zbornak found out that her…
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The Trump Administration Doesn’t Care About Ethics, but It Does Care About Ivanka’s Stupid Clothes
I think one of the reasons I keep getting thrown for a loop with this administration is that I believed there was some ethical guideline of accountability that President Asshat would abide by. Like at some point, something remotely presidential would kick in and maybe he would stop trolling America on Twitter and stop being…
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President ‘Oh, You Don’t See Me Signing ’Em’ Signs 3 More Executive Orders
President Executive Order, aka President “Y’all Don’t See How I’m Signing Shit,” is back at it again. On Thursday, with Jeff Sessions’ swearing-in ceremony as the new attorney general as the backdrop, President Asshat hopped off Twitter and signed three more executive orders that he claims will “restore safety in America,” McClatchy reports. While it’s…
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Steph Curry on Trump: He’s an Asset Without the ‘-et’
Under Armour CEO Kevin Plank may want to think about his support of President Asshat or run the risk of losing the company’s biggest spokesman. On Tuesday Plank endorsed President Asshat, calling him an “asset” to the country. When Stephen Curry was asked about Plank’s comments, he said, “I agree with the description, if you…
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That Makes 3: Another Black Patriots Player Isn’t Going to Trump’s White House
Dont’a Hightower is the latest member of the Super Bowl champion New England Patriots to pass on going to President Ass Hat’s White House. The Pro Bowl linebacker told ESPN Wednesday: “Been there, done that.” Hightower is the latest African-American member of the championship team to pass on going to Ass Hat’s lair. Outspoken tight…
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That Time Kellyanne Conway Was Dressed Like Paddington Bear
I just can’t get the image out of my head, and since I can’t, you shouldn’t be able to, either. The above photo is of Kellyanne Conway at President Asshat’s inauguration. The picture below is of the fashion-forward Paddington Bear. #NeverForget Also, who wore it better?
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President Twitter Fingers Is Mad at Nordstrom for Dropping Ivanka’s Lame Clothes
We all knew this was coming. President Twitter Fingers is doing what he does best: trolling on Twitter. On Wednesday, Donald Trump called out Nordstrom for dropping his daughter’s hideous line of basics and cruise-director casual clothing. Last week the #GrabYourWallet social media movement—in which people vowed not to shop at Nordstrom as long as…
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Wait, Trump Just Gave Omarosa a Position Doing What?
Hold up, hold up, hold up. It seems that the White House has slipped a little news past us while we’ve all been focused on IHOP’s offer of “All You Can Eat” pancakes, which has been extended until Feb. 12. Omarosa Manigault—yes, she of reality-star fame—will serve as part of the presidential delegation to the…
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Another Black New England Patriots Player Won’t Be Going to the White House
It’s starting to be a trend. On Sunday, New England Patriots tight end Martellus Bennett announced that he would not be attending the Super Bowl team’s celebratory White House visit because of President Asshat. On Tuesday, Patriots cornerback Devin McCourty told Time magazine in a text message that he, too, wouldn’t be attending any White House…
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The Jake Tapper Interview That Crushed Kellyanne Conway’s Soul
Either top White House adviser Kellyanne Conway is becoming a kinder and gentler version of herself or CNN’s Jake Tapper just handed Conway her hat. Appearing on the news channel that President Donald Trump officially considers “fake news,” Conway apologized and expressed remorse for citing a phony massacre and acknowledged that not all mainstream media…