president trump
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How LaVar Ball’s Junior Basketball Association Has Become the Donald Trump of Roundball Leagues
In 2011, America was doing just fine. And then this happened … President Barack Obama decided to have some fun with an orange-faced reality star. Unbeknownst to the rest of the world, it was this moment that would change the course of American history. On that day, Donald Trump decided that he would punish all…
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After Meeting With One of the World’s Worst Dictators, Trump Declares the Press America’s Biggest Enemy
So now that the president of the United States is all “Go, best friend, that’s my best friend” with the tyrannical leader of North Korea, he somehow believes that the press is America’s biggest enemy. In an angry tweet Wednesday, Donald Trump declared that CNN and NBC were the purveyors of “fake news,” all claims…
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Trump’s Personal Fixer Michael Cohen’s Lawyers Have Bailed, and He’s Expected to Sing Like 1986 El DeBarge
Michael Cohen, the president’s longtime fixer who is currently being pressed out by federal prosecutors in New York City, is drinking lemon tea with honey to prep his throat for his rendition of Mahalia Jackson’s “Amazing Grace,” and that’s because Cohen is getting ready to sing. I don’t want to brag, but I predicted this.…
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Trump Continues His Petty Presidency, Vows to Make Canada Pay for Trudeau’s Comments
Welp, the G-7 summit happened, and as expected, the president of the United States showed his entire untanned ass on a global stage. And even though the party has ended, that hasn’t stopped Donald Trump from holding a grudge. Apparently Trump believes that Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau shaded him during a speech he made…
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10 Reasons Dennis Rodman’s Summit Interview Was the Most Bizarre Must-Watch Television Moment in 2018
Dennis Rodman—or the Worm, as he was affectionately known during his playing days in the NBA—just gave arguably (although I wouldn’t argue with me about this) the best piece of television of 2018. It happened during an appearance on CNN. Rodman, who was in Singapore for the talks between a dictator-tyrant and the leader of…
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Here’s Why Colin Kaepernick’s Legal Team Should Subpoena the President in His NFL Collusion Case
President Donald Trump couldn’t let kneeling players kneel. For Trump, the players protesting the over-policing of black communities became political points for him to hold up as examples of turncoats who don’t honor the American flag. He called them “sons of bitches,” urged NFL owners to fire players who refused to stand for the national…
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The Patriotic President From Patriotism-ville Doesn’t Know the Words to ‘God Bless America’
If this were a movie, you would have walked out of the theater by now. On Tuesday, after President Donald Trump disinvited the champion Philadelphia Eagles to the White House and threw an all-wypipo party instead, he was caught mumbling the lyrics to “God Bless America.” Seriously, after all of his patriotic bullshit, not to…
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Trump Wants America to Know He Can Pardon Himself, but He Didn’t Do Anything Wrong
President Donald Trump did not collude with Russians, but if he did, he wants America to know that he has the absolute right to pardon himself. On Monday, Trump took to Twitter to explain how he could pardon himself once special counsel Robert Mueller found him guilty of being the worst president in American history.…
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Is the Trump Administration Running a Child-Trafficking Ring or Nah? Follow Me Down the Rabbit Hole
Donald Trump has been the conspiracy whisperer throughout his entire public life. Even before he was president, he was convinced that the Central Park Five were guilty (they weren’t). He spent years claiming that former President Barack Obama was born in Kenya (he wasn’t). He suggested that Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia’s death may have…
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Congratulations, NFL, You Played Yourself! Protest Fines Didn’t Appease Trump, Who Wants Players Who Don’t Stand for the Anthem Tossed Out of the Country
President Donald Trump knows how to light a tiki torch, doesn’t he? Shortly after news broke that the NFL had succumbed to the demands of the grand wizard of “Make America great again” to punish players who protest during the national anthem, Trump, who crusaded against players’ rights to protest, made it clear that he…