Sports
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Padres Outfielder Tommy Pham In 'Good Condition' After Stabbing Outside of Strip Club
Strip clubs have never in life been my ministry, and it’s stories like these that remind me why I choose to abstain. From NBC News: Tommy Pham, an outfielder for the San Diego Padres, was stabbed in the back outside a strip club in the city on Sunday night. The 32-year-old was stabbed at least…
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Alex Smith Returns, Dak Prescott Bows Out and Other Takeaways From Week 5 of the NFL
This weekend was a lot, so let’s get to it. In April, curiosity got the best of me. So like millions of other people, I watched ESPN’s Project 11, which documented Alex Smith’s improbable quest to return to the field after suffering one of the most catastrophic injuries in professional sports: a compound fracture in…
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For Kobe: After Suffering One of Its Biggest Tragedies, Los Angeles Achieves Arguably Its Most Meaningful Triumph
Less than an hour before the Game 6 of the NBA Finals showdown between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Miami Heat, the Heat gave me a glimmer of hope: Goran Dragic Active for Game 6 Heat guard is listed active for tonight’s do-or-die game vs. Lakers after tearing his plantar fascia in Game 1.…
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Another Day, Another NFL Team Incurs the Wrath of the Coronavirus as New York Jets Shut Down Team Facilities
Stephen A. Crockett Jr., your senior editor at this very website, and I have a running bet that the NFL won’t last until Week 8—I mean, Week 7—due to its inability to circumvent COVID-19. And if today’s news is any indication, we should probably bump that up to Week 6. From ESPN: The New York…
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Republicans Rejoice As NBA TV Ratings Swirl Around the Toilet Bowl, but All Is Not As It Seems
The NBA is a business. So after getting derailed by a global pandemic and pouring over $150 million into an NBA bubble to resume the season—all while hemorrhaging money from lost ticket sales, concessions and other lucrative sources of income—the absolute last thing NBA commissioner Adam Silver expected was shitty TV ratings. And calling the…
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Shaq Wants 1st Time Voters to Know They Aren't Alone With Shocking Reveal: 'I Have a Confession'
First-time voters, you’re not alone. While Republicans would love nothing more than for you to stay your ass home on Election Day, there are plenty of you who will be casting a ballot for the very first time. And to the surprise of many—myself included—among that number is NBA legend-turned-serial pitchman, Shaquille O’Neal. On the…
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Tennessee Titans Face 'Significant Punishment' for Violating COVID-19 Protocols by Holding Secret Practice
What in the hell is going on with the Tennessee Titans? When last we left them, a grand total of 22 players and staff members had tested positive for the coronavirus since September 24. But since Donald Trump continues to apparently meander around their facilities without a mask, that number continues to defy logic and…
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WNBA Star Jewell Loyd Delivers Moving Tribute to Kobe, Gianna Bryant Following Seattle Storm's WNBA Title: 'It's Special'
For those of you who are stabbing your LeBron James voodoo dolls with a fork while trying your damndest to will the Miami Heat to their fourth NBA championship in franchise history, you’re watching the wrong series. Because last night, the Seattle Storm beat the Heat to the punch and collected their fourth championship trophy…
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Cam Newton Delivers Words of Wisdom After Stephon Gilmore, More NFL Players Test Positive for Coronavirus: 'Wear Your Mask'
On the same day we learned that All-Pro cornerback Stephon Gilmore tested positive for the coronavirus—the third Patriots player to do so—comes the news that two more Tennessee Titans players have tested positive too, bringing the team’s grand total to an inexplicable 22 players and staff members since September 24. ESPN reports that after the…
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NFL Will Implement Video Monitoring to Ensure Coaches and Players Are Following Coronavirus Protocols
After two games were postponed as a result of players contracting COVID-19, the NFL has announced new protocols to combat the spread of the virus. According to CNN, one of those new protocols is the implementation of a video monitoring system in training facilities. The league explained that the video monitoring system is to ensure…