Sports
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Please Lord, Let the NBA's Virtual Draft Be As Entertaining As the NFL's Was
Much like everything else this year, the NBA Draft is going virtual. ESPN reports that the draft will be hosted at its own studios in Bristol, Conn., on November 18. Commissioner Adam Silver and Deputy Commissioner Mark Tatum will announce the selections for the first and second rounds in-studio, while draftees like LaMelo Ball and…
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The Seattle Seahawks Are Making Googly Eyes at Free Agent Headache Antonio Brown as His 8-Game Suspension Draws to a Close: 'We're in It'
Antonio Brown is the David Ruffin of the NFL. No matter how much of a fucking pain in the ass he is—from destroying the locker room in Pittsburgh, to calling Raiders general manager Mike Mayock a “cracker” and threatening to beat his face in in Oakland, to getting dropped in New England after sexual misconduct…
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LSU Bans Odell Beckham Jr. for Two Years As Part of Self-Imposed Penalties for Improper Payments
Remember when you got bad grades in school or forgot to do your chores for the 47th time? Then before your parents could take off their belt or banish you to your bedroom for an eternity, you’d attempt to negotiate a much less severe punishment in order to preserve your freedoms and civil liberties as…
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Anonymous NBA Agent Rips League for Allowing Black Lives Matter to 'Really Hurt the Business': 'Who Are You Helping?'
In the immediate aftermath of the death of George Floyd at the hands of Minneapolis police officers, America underwent a short-lived racial reckoning in which white people pretended to give a shit about the Black plight, and Black folks failed miserably to fully capitalize off of it. One of the best examples of this was…
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Kobe Bryant’s 2008 Finals Jersey Put on Display in the Smithsonian
In honor of the late Kobe Bryant, the Smithsonian National Museum of African American History and Culture has displayed the jersey he wore during the 2008 NBA Finals. According to CBS News, the jersey was displayed as part of its “Sports: Leveling the Playing Field,” gallery. Bryant was a founding donor of the museum, with…
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Odell Beckham Jr. Offers Up His Magic DNA to Manufacture a COVID Vaccine. I'm Joking, but He Does Seem to Think He's Immune
Cleveland Browns wide receiver Odell Beckham Jr. is really out here trying to trump Trump’s re-Trump-ulousness…Trump-diculousness… This man out here saying he’s immune to COVID-19, just like y’all’s president did after he caught COVID-19. According to Yahoo Sports, OBJ recently missed two days of practice due to an illness that turned out not to be…
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Expect the Washington Football Team to Remain the Washington Football Team for the Foreseeable Future
In July, the team formerly known as the Washington Racial Slurs bid adieu to their racist-ass name after 87 years. It wasn’t by choice, however, as team owner Daniel Snyder went out kicking and screaming for years until corporate sponsors FedEx, PepsiCo, Nike and Bank of America finally forced his hand. In the time since…
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'They Just Aren't Good at Their Jobs': Dallas Cowboys Players Call Out Their Own Coaching Staff, and They Ain't Lying
Jerry Jones doesn’t get it. With the Cowboys sitting at 2-4, there’s plenty of blame to be passed around. But when your defense is coughing up a mind-boggling 36.3 points per game, it makes it nearly impossible to field a winning football team. That said, Cowboys fans are justified in their disillusionment and disdain for…
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It's Tua Time! Miami Dolphins Crown Rookie Their Starting Quarterback
After giving fans a glimpse of his playmaking ability on Sunday—and I mean a glimpse considering he played all of like two minutes—the Miami Dolphins have pushed the eject button on journeyman Ryan Fitzpatrick and rookie Tua Tagovailoa will be their quarterback moving forward, according to ESPN. If you’re over there scratching your head, wondering…
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Trademark Filings Might've Spilled the Beans on the Name, Number of Michael Jordan's NASCAR Team
In September, Michael Jordan unveiled his plans to become NASCAR’s first Black principal owner in nearly 50 years by forming a Cup Series team with three-time Daytona 500 winner Denny Hamlin, and in the time since, other than convincing Bubba Wallace to dip out on Richard Petty Motorsports and drive for him instead, details have…