Politics
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Trump Is Guilty Tweeting This Morning After Michael Cohen Tape Reveals Him Discussing Payment to Side Bae
President Donald Trump isn’t claiming that he didn’t have an affair with ex-former Playboy playmate Karen McDougal (noting that you are a former Playboy playmates is the equivalent of noting that you were third trumpet in your elementary school marching band), at least not this morning. He’s using all his old-man vitriol to blast his…
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Meek Mill Working With Philadelphia 76ers Co-Owner To Reshape The Criminal Justice System
When I think of Meek Mill, I think of his music, of course, (and immediately “Dreams and Nightmares” plays in my head) but I also think of the constant battle he’s been facing with the criminal justice system. Since being released from jail, he’s been working to help others who may have been in the…
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Trump Tries to Offset Damage From Tariffs With Welfare for White People
In an attempt to appease the rural, white casualties of his widely-decried trade war, President Donald Trump announced billions of dollars in federal aid to farmers, many of whom make up his base of proud Americans who hate big government, welfare and “those people” who are always asking for a handout. According to the Washington…
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Does Sarah Huckabee Sanders Have One Foot Out the White House Door and the Other on a Banana Peel?
White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders’, aka Suckabee, aka Big Aunt Lydia, aka the Devil’s Mouthpiece, days are numbered, and at this point, it’s just a matter of when. I study the White House, and I also grew up in a dysfunctional family so I know when someone is on the outs and Suckabee…
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5 Things Black Voters Should Demand From the Democratic Party
The Democratic Party is a white party. According to Pew research, 59 percent of registered voters who identify as Democrats are white. Only 4 of the state Chairs party chairs are black. It hasn’t elected a black governor in a decade. Only 2 of its 49 Senators are black. Just 45 of the 193 Democratic…
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Attorney General Jeff 'King Keebler' Sessions Joins High Schoolers in 'Lock Her Up' Chant
Every story surrounding Attorney General Jeff “King Keebler” Sessions is an attempt to move the country further away from the fact that the man runs an operation that MAKES COOKIES IN A FUCKING TREE! At some point, it would do the America justice to focus on the health regulations that have to be violated with…
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It's About to Go Down: FBI Seized 12 Tapes During Michael Cohen Raid
Bitch! The FBI didn’t just seize one tape that happened to have Donald Trump’s voice on it discussing the possibility of paying off former Playboy playmate (which feels like the equivalent of saying former high school junior varsity standout) Karen McDougal, they seized 12 tapes! Count them with me. One, two, three, four … a…
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Petty President: Trump Looking to Remove Security Clearances From Ex-Officials Critical of His Administration
Devil’s mouthpiece, Sarah Huckabee Sanders aka “Suckabee,” dropped a bombshell during what was supposed to be a routine press briefing when she announced that the president of the United States is looking into pulling the security clearances of several former Obama administration officials including former Director of National Intelligence John Brennan, former FBI Director James…
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The Senile Old Man in the White House Is Going to All-Cap Tweet Us Into a War With Iran
If these boisterous threats are true, this might be the first time in American history that the President of the United States has tweeted us into a war. Late Sunday evening the fake president and very real reality star decided to issue a furious all-caps tweet to Iran. First off, what the fuck was the…