Politics
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Rudy Giuliani Might Be the Dumbest Person in the White House and That's Good for Donald Trump
President Trump’s lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, might be the dumbest member of the president’s staff, and that isn’t a bad thing for the commander-in-chief. Because of the president’s antics, inability to spell words with five or more letters, refusal to stop canoodling with Russia and outright penchant for rage-filled Twitter rants, there needs to be someone…
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'We're Just Getting Started': Koch Brothers Plan to Spend Up to $400 Million on Midterm Elections
Imagine being so rich that you could buy anything. Although they don’t own a single Gucci belt, this weekend, the billionaire conservative Koch brothers gathered their likeminded cohorts together in a publicly secret retreat to announce their plans to keep America’s education system on layaway and purchase our entire system of government. Surrounded by 500…
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Donald Trump Clearly Doesn't Care About Election Security
For the first time during his presidency, Donald Trump chaired an election security meeting Friday in which senior-level national security experts discussed ways to protect America’s electoral process from foreign interference. The Washington Post reports, however, that the meeting lasted less than an hour and no new directives on how to counter or deter threats…
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End of Days: White House Issues Official Statement and Spells 'United States' Wrong
The treasonous White House is at it again. Normally when they issue an official statement regarding American interests, they have someone who reads over the document to sub out the word “Russia” and replaces it with “United States.” Well, it’s Friday, so that person must already be checked out because the White House just issued…
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Donald Trump Jr.'s Bae Kimberly Guilfoyle Left Fox News Amid Dick Pic Scandal: Report
Donald Trump Jr. is a lot like his father. He too was married and had that marriage dissolved amid cheating rumors. Trump Jr. left the marriage, started working out and posting Republican thirst trap photos on IG and was quickly linked to Fox News anchor Kimberly Guilfoyle. Side note: A Republican thirst trap photo is…
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President Trump Is Rage-Tweeting and Big Mad That Robert Mueller Is About to Be All Up in His Tweets
It’s Friday, so you know that means that the president of people who buy hotdogs at gas stations is rage-tweeting again. First, he targeted his former lawyer and personal fixer Michael Cohen’s claims that he knew of the 2016 meeting his dumb son, Donald Jr., aka Not-Ivanka, had with a Russian operative who promised dirt…
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Lawyer Michael Avenatti Claims 3 More Women Were Paid to Keep Quiet About Donald Trump: Report
Michael Avenatti, the attorney for Stormy Daniels—you know, the porn star who claims to have spanked the president’s bare, unseasoned ass with a rolled Forbes magazine—dropped a bombshell during a panel Thursday evening. During the panel, Avenatti stood up to note that he was in the process of getting clearance from three women who were…
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Michael Cohen Is Singing Like 1970s Anita Baker, Claims Trump Knew About 2016 Russia Meeting
So back in the good ole days of 2016, Barack Obama was still in office and Donald Trump was an obnoxious, xenophobe who didn’t look like he had a Kardashians’ chance at CurlFest. Trump’s dumbest son—not Eric, the other one that isn’t Ivanka—was super pumped for a meeting with a Russian who claimed to have…
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Wait, Stormy Daniels Lawyer Might Be Running for President? Don't Say This Is So
I get it, Michael Avenatti, the attorney for Stormy Daniels, is a good looking guy. This isn’t my personal opinion as I would argue that he’s an OK looking guy, but I’ve seen the tweets and listened to a co-worker at The Root, whom I shall not name but her name rhymes with Besha Ballahan,…
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At Least Omarosa's Got the Right Name for Her 'Tell-All' on the Trump White House: Unhinged
Like the rest of the White House’s merciless band of deplorables who’ve sold their souls to work with President Trump, only to be fired, Omarosa Manigault Newman, fresh off her highly respected appearance on Celebrity Big Brother is set to release her scathing memoir: “I told on Harriet Tubman” Sike! the book is really called,…