Wale: The Patron Saint of Diva Dudes Who Pretend They Actually Care About Women

I been listening to Wale for years. I am a stan, and as much as his flow and style have changed, several things have remained consistent: This man knows how to talk to women, he knows how to pour his ainโ€™t-sโ€”tness into a track and he knows how to get women to love these tracks.…

I been listening to Wale for years. I am a stan, and as much as his flow and style have changed, several things have remained consistent: This man knows how to talk to women, he knows how to pour his ainโ€™t-sโ€”tness into a track and he knows how to get women to love these tracks. Itโ€™s a skill. I canโ€™t even front.

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Stefon Diggs and Cardi B Viral Boat Video Prompts Response from Patriots Coach
Stefon Diggs and Cardi B Viral Boat Video Prompts Response from Patriots Coach

The first example of this is one of my all-time favorites, โ€œRather Be,โ€ featuring J. Cole and Curren$y. This whole track is basically three of arguably the best rappers out today talking to a womanโ€™s lower half and saying theyโ€™d rather be with it than the owner. Letโ€™s be clearโ€”this is nothing more than an โ€œI wanna smashโ€ song, but itโ€™s cleverly worded and filled with double entendres. Look here for proof:

Listen, love of my life, I'm tryin' to get some uh-tention. You don't gotta listen just give a [fโ€”k]Your mouth, I don't need, your legs, you can keepJust tryin' to get up in your jeans, re-sew your seams

Plain and simple, though, this is exactly what many women seem to wish diva dudes would just say out loud so they knew where they stood. (Also, the verses by Spitta and J. Cole are what dreams are made of.)

The second example, โ€œGoodbye,โ€ is off the same mixtape and is a duet with Jean Grae. This song is actually an adorable love song, but I call it a diva-dude anthem because Wale is literally bragging on some โ€œLook, you had me, and you could have stuck with me, but you wanted more, so thatโ€™s why you had to goโ€ tip. If I need to explain any clearer as to how bad that is, youโ€™re not paying attention.

The third example is one of Waleโ€™s most famous songs, โ€œBad.โ€ This was a hit simply because the tone of the song is about a woman whoโ€™s not great at relationships at all. However, in the most honest terms, the hook itself is the epitome of what a diva dude is. You couldnโ€™t make it any clearer if you tried. The lyrics Wale is spitting are based on women, but if you replaced him with a woman, you couldnโ€™t tell me there wouldnโ€™t be a collective moment of post-traumatic stress disorder for women when thinking of the men described by the lyrics.

The fourth example is arguably Waleโ€™s most successful song outside of โ€œBadโ€: โ€œMatrimony,โ€ featuring Usher. Now, this song was a big deal last year for two reasons: It points out the fear that many men haveโ€”that learning to love someone for all time is a decision they have to makeโ€”and it is the closest thing to Jagged Edgeโ€™s โ€œLetโ€™s Get Married,โ€ with a dude saying, โ€œAโ€™ight girl, you got me.โ€

Again, this is a diva-dude trap. He got you thinking heโ€™s putting his heart on the line, but in reality โ€ฆ thatโ€™s just Usherโ€™s hook. Wale is basically saying from beginning to end, โ€œIโ€™m trying to figure this out, I just donโ€™t know what it means yet, so wait a minute.โ€ Isnโ€™t that the one thing many women have hated for the longest when it comes to dealing with men?

Lastly, from his latest mixtape, we have โ€œBitches Like You,โ€ featuring Camโ€™ron. Now, this one in particular is hilarious. In famous diva-dude fashion, weโ€™re being told heโ€™s a changed man and he has no time for the same old type of broads. Itโ€™s just not gonna happen now. So get on this D or get off board. Even better, Killa Cam comes spitting some legendary Superfly knowledge, then hits us with the biggest slap of them all: โ€œIโ€™m the water/youโ€™re the bridge/get over me.โ€

If yesterday was about ghosting, then today is proof that as much as people want closure, theyโ€™d collectively lose their sโ€”t if someone said this to them out loud.

Joel Philip is a 30-something from the land of bullets and blueberry muffins known as Brooklyn, N.Y. He specializes in being awkward, daydreams of being Mr. Robot and tries to live the theme of Toy Story 3ย every day of his life.

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