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The Worst Black Christmas Movies

‘Jingle All the Way,’ ‘A Madea Christmas,’ ‘Snowglobe’ and ‘Unaccompanied Minors’ are some of the Christmas movies you should skip.

Screenshot: Lionsgate

As much as we love a comforting, heartwarming holiday story, not all Christmas movies are created equal. From ridiculous tropes, to unimaginative stories, to bad acting, there are several factors that can derail a Christmas movie. It also doesn’t matter how big the budget is, things can still go horribly wrong. To save you time and help you avoid some holiday stinkers, we’ve a roundup of some films that definitely belong on the naughty list. Grab your egg nog and enjoy our list of the worst Christmas movies.

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‘Jingle All the Way’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ewk8-aOHzho

This movie following a father’s desperate search for the biggest toy of the year is a cult classic for some, but honestly, it’s just not good. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad star as rivals for the toy. It’s among “The Terminator” star’s worst, which is really saying something.

‘A New Diva’s Christmas Carol’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heJFUAHBVSk

Under any other circumstance, we’d be thrilled to Ashanti, Vivica A. Fox, Eva Marcille, Robin Givens and Mel B. in a movie together. However, this is just a pale imitation of the 2000 Vanessa Williams classic.

‘A Madea Christmas’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zFenzWARtc

This Madea entry from 2013 has “ studio cash grab” written all over it. We get the usual “Black comedian in the rural south” jokes, but this time they’re combined with all the Madea tropes. If you’ve seen a Madea, you’ve absolutely seen this already.

‘Holiday Heartbreak’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDeaqST0KG4

Romantic curses aren’t a new idea, but this time around the daughter is being punished for her father’s insensitive playboy ways. There’s something both ridiculous and gross about it.

‘Catfish Christmas’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYhdF-whG6s

Oh no your poor sister can’t get a date at Christmastime? Clearly the only answer is to catfish her into thinking that she’s being courted by a famous football player. Seriously, what the actual hell!?

‘Candy Cane Lane’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9d2G3l3UO4

Tracee Ellis Ross is doing everything she can to make this family holiday adventure work, but it doesn’t help that Eddie Murphy is kind of flat all the way through. The comedy legend is a husband who gets obsessed with winning the neighborhood light contest and goes way too far.

‘Throwback Holiday’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKE8Xyf0_nQ

When a woman realizes her life isn’t where she thought it would be, she suddenly finds herself back in high school, ready to change her future. There’s always something weird about these time travel/alternative life movies, because it’s almost always a woman who’s so deeply unhappy with her choices. Plus, they rarely make any sense.

‘The Nutcracker and the Four Realms’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dsFI3Tfgdk

Controversial take: “The Nutcracker” is a very weird holiday story and we should stop trying to make kids like it. This big budget Disney film took the nonsensical tale and made it even more convoluted by adding an extra layer of complicated mythology into the mix. Not even Morgan Freeman’s narration could save it.

‘London Mitchell’s Christmas’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KI1df4Ayngk

Filmmakers tried to tell a different kind of Christmas Carol-esque story here, but if the lead character is so deeply unlikeable the audience doesn’t care about his redemption, the story doesn’t work.

‘The App That Stole Christmas’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKeWNXxS0Z4

The silliest movie on this list sees the man behind the app “Bomazon,” magically transported to Santa’s village because he’s taking the magic out of Christmas. Yep, that’s the actual plot of the film.

‘Unaccompanied Minors’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3PkuZf6OrA

A young “Everybody Hates Chris” era Tyler James Williams leads a cast of kids who are stuck at the airport during a storm. As you would expect, chaos ensues, but it might be too much chaos, because it’s distracting and over the top.

‘The Christmas Lottery’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YGzCLpggqU

A family hits the lottery at Christmas, but loses the ticket. As they search for it, they work out their issues and realize they’re already rich. OK, but these daughters are terrible and don’t deserve any of their parents’ windfall.

‘Snowglobe’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaFweYEmWzs

Christina Milian longs for the perfect Christmas, until she wakes up and finds herself inside a snowglobe world of perfection. The problem with this movie is it feels like it doesn’t know what it wants to be. Is it a comedy, romance, deep reflection? Unfortunately, it doesn’t nail any of those well enough to be worth the trip.

‘Bad Santa 2’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmckiK-JvB8

This money grab, we mean sequel, to the cult favorite is totally unnecessary. No matter how much you love Billy Bob Thornton and Tony Cox in the first one, there is no need for you to watch this truly terrible follow up.

‘New Year’s Eve’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_dt27_0vL4

It’s like a studio exec said “we need an American ‘Love Actually’” and this is what the computer printed out. This star-studded mix of multiple stories in New York City on New Year’s Eve features Halle Berry and Ludacris as the only Black characters. Don’t blink, because you will definitely miss their story. Berry’s Nurse Aimee is more involved in the sad final hours of her cancer patient than her own life. There will absolutely be marathon on Dec. 31 and we encourage you to skip it.

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