(Damon's latest at EBONY provides some tips on helping the groom make it through a bachelor party alive)
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1. Do not lose the bachelor:
This is easily the most important rule. There might be dozens of things happening โ shots being taken, clubs being hopped, elephants being herded, more shots being taken, etc โ but you can not lose sight of the bachelor. You must be aware of where he is at all times. Mainly because you do not want his fiancee to maim you after finding out you โlostโ her soon-to-be-husband somewhere between Benihanas and the King of Diamonds.
2. Do not get more โturnt upโ than the bachelor:
This is the first step in making sure #1 is followed. Youโre definitely supposed to have fun. The bachelor wouldn't have invited you if he didnโt want you to have a good time. But, you canโt have such a good time that your actions end up influencing the party plans. Basically, donโt get so drunk that the party needs to be postponed so you can get your stomach pumped. The bachelor should be the only one getting his stomach pumped.
3. Do what the bachelor wants to doโฆnot what you want him to do:
If he says โno strippersโ โ- then no strippers. If he says โno alcoholโ โ then no alcohol. If he wants to keep things lowkey โ- then keep things lowkey. This is not the time to force him to do something he doesnโt really want to do. Thatโs what the wedding and marriage are for.
4. Do not allow him to cheat on his fiancee:
I know, I know, I know, I know. You canโt make a grown man do anything, itโs his decision, who are you to tell him โno?โ blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Let me just say this. Youโre right. You canโt make a grown man do anything. What you can do, though, is be his friend. And being a friend means that if you see him about to make an alcohol-fueled decision that could end his marriage before it even starts, do what you can to stop it, not encourage it.
Basically, youโre no longer his wingman. Youโre his hall monitor.
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