president trump
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Syrian President Claims He Didn’t Use Chemical Weapons Against His Own People. Then Who Did?
Now, this is getting interesting. Syrian dictator Bashar Assad claims he didn’t use chemical weapon against his own people, and adds that any reports claiming that he did are fake news. “One hundred percent fabrication,” Assad said in an interview with Agence France-Presse. Assad also claims that his nation “gave up” all of its stored…
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Mar-a-Lago’s Kitchen Is Nasty; Cited for 13 Violations Days Before Japanese Prime Minister’s Visit
Florida restaurant inspectors found 13 violations inside the kitchen of President Vladimir TrumPutin’s Mar-a-Lago playhouse just days before the dictator hosted Japanese Prime Minister Shinzō Abe. Let’s hope the Japanese prime minister didn’t order the fish, considering that the inspectors cited Mar-a-Lago for housing potentially dangerous raw fish, the Miami Herald reports. The resort was also…
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Trump’s Interview With Fox Confirms He’s Still Obsessed With Hillary Clinton
Since President TrumPutin’s playbook only includes lying, mentioning Hillary Clinton and blaming Barack Obama, it’s safe to assume that if the president has a sit-down interview with fake-news Fox, you can bet he’s going to do one of the three, if not all of them. Thankfully, TrumPutin doesn’t disappoint, unless you expect him to be…
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President Twitter Fingers Is Taunting North Korea on Social Media
I’m starting to get really sick of President Twitter Fingers and his Meek Mill-esque threatening tweets. Seems as if everyone besides the president of the United States knows that North Korean leader Kim Jong Un is a few Crayolas short of a 64-set, and yet he just keeps messing with him. Not only did the…
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The Trump Administration Is About to Ruin Easter
This Beverly Hillbillies administration can’t do anything right. Currently, we are kind of at war with Syria. We still don’t know if Russia hacked the election, except, we totally know that Russia hacked the election. The president is still playing more golf than presidenting, and now it looks like he and his team are about…
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Could Someone Tell Tropicana Jong-il Jr. He Won’t Fare as Well in Politics as His Terrible Father?
Donald Trump Jr. is an asshole. He has the intellectual curiosity of a dead sewer rat, the political sensibilities of a racist Twitter egg and the charm of a spider bite. He comes across as the kind of person Richie Rich punched in eighth grade. The sort of prick who, when hearing “Niggas in Paris”…
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A Conspiracy Theorist’s Guide to the US Attack on Syria
This lying-ass administration will make a conspiracy theorist out of the best of us. Because I don’t believe anything that anyone representing President Vladimir TrumPutin has to say, when word came out that the U.S. had bombed Syria, I was immediately skeptical. Sure, I’d seen the heartbreaking photos of children being killed in a reported…
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Life Comes at You Fast: Trump Voters Mad That Border Wall Would Put Their Homes on Mexican Side
When you live under the rule of a dictator, even one that you helped vote into office, you can forget that you live in a dictatorship. I know it’s cool as long as all the weight of his office falls on people who don’t look like you, but what about when you get swept up…
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President TrumPutin Believes He Saved Us From Trumpcare Because He Doesn’t Lose
If you believe that the House of Representatives stopped the utterly impossible and completely asinine Trumpcare bill, then you are wrong, my friends. Because America’s Emperor TrumPutin doesn’t take L’s, he now claims that the reason it never went to a vote is that he pulled it, because he’s an oracle. “I didn’t want to…