Donald Trump
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Trump Used Twitter to Announce Ban Against Transgender People Serving in the Military Because He’s an Asshole
The president of racist, xenophobic, homophobic and transphobic America just announced on social media that he will be banning all transgender people from serving in the military because he’s actively trying to unseat Adolf Hilter as the most hated person in history. Also, because Donald Trump is a dirtbag, he made the announcement, which will…
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Coward With Terminal Brain Cancer Jumps Out Of Government-Funded Death Bed To Kill Other Sick People
The line of Republican cowards attempting to curry favor with Donald Trump stretches out the door, around the building, down the block, through the next door overflow room, and extends up to space, where it circles around the moon like Dr Manhattan. There’s sniveling turdface Ted Cruz, who, among other things, listened to Trump call his wife…
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Stop Calling John McCain a Hero for Flying to DC to Kill Other People’s Health Care
Today, John McCain is doing something “heroic” or “tough” or “badass,” according to a certain echo chamber of political pundits with short memories. After recently being diagnosed with brain cancer, one of a series of ailments that have plagued McCain over the years, he’s decided that today’s health care vote is so important that he…
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Trump’s Ex-Campaign Chair Paul Manafort Is Going to Snitch
Donald Trump’s ex-campaign manager Paul Manafort, aka Fumbleruski, aka Big Daddy Butt Chin, aka “I’m in a pee-stained Russian bed,” has been subpoenaed by the Senate Intelligence Committee and is expected to appear at the hearing Wednesday. Manafort, whose name seems to come up so much in this administration’s Russia probe that I assumed he was…
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Trump Is a Passive-Aggressive Lover Who Needs to End It With Jeff Sessions
Because the president handles his relationships like a Twitter-obsessed teen, the American public has been privy to the nightmare reality show that is the White House, and, it looks like Attorney General Jeff Sessions has upset the emperor. On Tuesday morning, President “Da Fuq Is Wrong With This Man?” tweeted: I guess the president doesn’t…
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Donald Trump Has Always Been a Disloyal Thot
Shortly before Super Tuesday last year, then-Sen. Jeff Sessions endorsed Donald Trump for president. At a campaign rally in Sessions’ home state of Alabama, Sessions explained to the crowd that while “we don’t get everything we want” in a candidate, “at this time, in my best judgment, at this time in America’s history, we need…
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Sunday’s Game of Thrones Episode Was All About Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump and Staying Woke
Even though we’ve discussed how Game of Thrones teaches us everything we need to know about white America, breaking down the political and social metaphors embedded within each episode requires a keen eye and the ability to understand the language of literary analogy. The messages hidden beneath the layers of turmoil and conflict sometimes need…
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If Trump Tweets and No One Reports It, Does It Make a Sound?
It’s Monday, and that usually means that the president, who has the mental capacity of a teenager in the back of his parents’ car on a road trip vacation he doesn’t want to be on, is tweeting again. Of course, he’s tweeting about Russia and witch hunts and FAKE NEWS (all caps, always all caps)…