My brethren, the penultimate week of 2023 has been lit for us—and not in a good way.
Suggested Reading
We started the week with actor Christian Keyes not-quite spilling the tea about being sexually assaulted and harassed by a high-powered Black man (have we figured out the guilty party yet?).
Fellow celebs barely got a chance to give Keyes a pound for sharing his story before Vin Diesel’s former assistant filed a lawsuit against the Fast & Furious actor alleging sexual battery and wrongful termination. Vanity Fair was first to drop the details of this suit; the assistant alleges she was hired to be party organizer-slash-fake companion at events when Diesel’s girlfriend couldn’t attend, and Diesel (born Mark Sinclair) forgot the “fake” part of her job description, fondling and kissing her against her will, and then masturbating. Diesel, through his lawyers, denies this claim. (I have to interrupt this recap to ask: What am I missing with all this alleged masturbating in front of folks? Did I miss the memo that this is supposed to be a turn-on?)
Cardi B was on Instagram crying, er, denying, er, something—because she caught Offset cheating. It’s not clear from her actual post, which said, “I don’t know if y’all been getting clues from me from my live or from my stories, when I put certain music or if I’m unfollowing — when it comes to today’s events, I don’t know if it’s true. I don’t think it’s true.” What is clear is the two have split, and in a messy turn of events reported by Us Magazine, both are scheduled to perform in Miami on New Year’s Eve.
Then a jury found Jonathan Majors guilty of assaulting his ex-girlfriend and Marvel dropped him faster than Diddy settled with Cassie. Social media paused long enough to ponder if he’d get a chance at redemption a la Ezra Miller and Mel Gibson.
Our heads were still on a swivel when suspicion of tension between our queens Taraji P. Henson and Oprah surfaced following Henson’s tearful interview where she shared her frustrations about fighting for her paper. She didn’t name names in her Gayle King for SiriusXM appearance; she spoke only about pay disparities in Hollywood and admitted she’s been thinking about a career change. But a viral video of “The Color Purple” stars promoting the film has Tik Tok users thinking something smells. One commentator said, “Oprah is doing the walk that parents do when they know they were wrong but don’t want to actually apologize to the kid.” Another comment that elicited 2900 likes in agreement said: “I don’t think these women were paid well for this movie. Why do I feel she (Oprah) threw them under the bus the same way she did to Mo’Nique.
If that’s not enough, rumors surrounding megachurch pastor T.D. Jakes began circulating this week when a unverified video by a tiktoker (@jusnene) surfaced implying Jakes had been involved in various events hosted by Diddy, engaging in same-gender relationships, and allegedly participating in inappropriate sexual conduct with ...let’s stop here.
None of this can be confirmed right now, so we beg you dear reader not to believe everything you read or hear on social media ...until it is proven true or false. Celeb gossip website Bossip reported on Jakes’ denial of said allegations: “Recent claims circulating on pockets of social media about Bishop T.D. Jakes are unequivocally false and baseless,” wrote executive director of public relations and communications for T.D. Jakes Group Jordan A. Hora. “What has always been true, in the words of the late Pastor Charles H. Spurgeon, ‘If you want the truth to go round the world you must hire an express train to pull it; but if you want a lie to go round the world it will fly; it is as light as a feather, and a breath will carry it.’”
Tik Tok user bmackwrites posted a message that said, simply, “Beware of the company you keep.” It garnered more than 12K likes.
Mr. Simone Biles kept sticking his foot in his mouth, claiming he’s “the catch” in his relationship with the greatest gymnast ever, a claim social media neither believed nor appreciated. They said a collective “boy, bye.”
And finally, “Married to Medicine” star Jaqueline “Dr. Jackie” Walters talked out the side of her neck about Black women and pregnancy. During the most recent episode of the hit reality show, Dr. Jackie talked with VP Kamala Harris about the disproportionate maternity mortality rates that Black women face in America. “I want to be a part of the solution for maternity mortality and spreading awareness is so important,” she said to the veep. The controversy came when previous comments surfaced of Dr. Jackie saying Black women complain too much during pregnancy. “Sometimes as African Americans women, we’re a bit more dramatic and that you go to the doctor and you complain and you complain and you complain and you’re not taken seriously because you cry wolf the entire pregnancy,” the long-time OB-GYN said in a YouTube video. Page Six reported on the righteous dragging she received.
Tik Tok creator plusssizeandbossy said it more succinctly: We. Are. Dizzy. And we still have a week to go. Whew. It’s no wonder bears hibernate during this time of year.
Kendra Lee is a writer based in DC.
Straight From 
Sign up for our free daily newsletter.