"Morning, Church. I've Been Fucking Everyone. Oh, And I Have AIDS." = Worst. Sermon. Ever.

We've been thinking all morning (actually for just like the last 10 minutes) of a sermon that could possibly be worse than the one Pastor Juan Demetrius McFarland recently gave Shiloh Missionary Baptist Church in Montgomery, where he admitted that heโ€ฆ Suggested Reading The Root 100 – 2020 Black History Month – 2022 Hip-Hop 50…

We've been thinking all morning (actually for just like the last 10 minutes) of a sermon that could possibly be worse than the one Pastor Juan Demetrius McFarland recently gave Shiloh Missionary Baptist Church in Montgomery, where he admitted that heโ€ฆ

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Stefon Diggs and Cardi B Viral Boat Video Prompts Response from Patriots Coach
Stefon Diggs and Cardi B Viral Boat Video Prompts Response from Patriots Coach

A) Was stealing from the church

B) Getting high

C) Sleeping with everyone

D) Sleeping with everyone while having AIDS

โ€ฆand this is what we've come up with so far.

1. "I'm not really a pastor. I'm an alien sent to Earth to kill church members and chew bubble gum. Today, I just ran out of bubble gum."

2. "Instead of reading the Gospel today, I'd like everyone to listen to this Young Thug mixtape."

โ€ฆand that's it.

Straight From The Root

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