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Jimmy Butler Going to Work Just to Roast His Boss and Coworkers Is the Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week

On Friday, I will be a part of a daylong wedding ceremony that will merge Ghanaian and African-American traditions for one glorious and black-as-the-fuck celebration. The members of the wedding party will change wardrobes three times. Iโ€™m currently in a text thread with Panama and each of the 11 groomsmen. Topics discussed over the past…

On Friday, I will be a part of a daylong wedding ceremony that will merge Ghanaian and African-American traditions for one glorious and black-as-the-fuck celebration. The members of the wedding party will change wardrobes three times. Iโ€™m currently in a text thread with Panama and each of the 11 groomsmen. Topics discussed over the past 48 hours include 1) whether the pants with the tux weโ€™re wearing fit appropriately and 2) the song weโ€™re going to come out to when we make our group entrance during the second ceremony. โ€œThis Is America,โ€ โ€œThe International Playerโ€™s Anthem,โ€ and โ€œI Choose Youโ€ are just a few of the songs nominated.

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Stefon Diggs and Cardi B Viral Boat Video Prompts Response from Patriots Coach
Stefon Diggs and Cardi B Viral Boat Video Prompts Response from Patriots Coach

This entire wedding is dripping in blackness. It has officially reached โ€œBack of Forest Whitakerโ€™s Neckโ€ status. Yet thereโ€™s nothing we could say or do this week that would be blacker than disgruntled Minnesota Timberwolves guard Jimmy Butlerโ€”after requesting to get tradedโ€”coming to work today for the first time all season just to roast his bosses and coworkers and kick their asses too.

From ESPN:

All-Star Jimmy Butler made a dramatic return to the Minnesota Timberwolves on Wednesday, boldly challenging teammates, coaches and front office executives in the session, league sources told ESPN.

Butler was vociferous and intense throughout scrimmage sessions, targeting president of basketball operations and coach Tom Thibodeau, general manager Scott Layden and teammates, including Karl-Anthony Towns and Andrew Wiggins, league sources said.

As the GM watched on the sidelines during a scrimmage, sources said that Butler yelled to Layden: โ€œYou fโ€”-ing need me, Scott. You canโ€™t win without me.โ€

It was Butlerโ€™s first practice with the team since requesting a trade three weeks ago.

Many of the Minnesota players left practice energized by Butlerโ€™s performance, mesmerized with him taking several end-of-the-bench players and running the table in scrimmage games against the regulars, league sources said.

Adding insult to blackness is that Butler reportedly walked out of practice as soon as the scrimmages endedโ€”stunning his still speechless teammates and coachesโ€”which is probably the best mic drop moment since Randy Watson. Who among us hasnโ€™t fantasized about doing that at work? And by โ€œat workโ€ I mean โ€œto America?โ€ Perhaps, if it isnโ€™t too late, we should shoehorn in a fourth wardrobe change for the wedding. Might as well quadruple down on blackness and rock matching Jimmy Butler jerseys too.

Straight From The Root

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