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Abolish MAGA Parody Hats

Conceding even the tiniest thing to a hateful and violent twerp like our president feels like a total defeat. Unfortunately, I must admit that there are (at least) three zeitgeist-related places that he has โ€œwonโ€โ€”where his influence has been total and, possibly, irreversible. Suggested Reading The Root 100 – 2021 The Root 100 – 2022…

Conceding even the tiniest thing to a hateful and violent twerp like our president feels like a total defeat. Unfortunately, I must admit that there are (at least) three zeitgeist-related places that he has โ€œwonโ€โ€”where his influence has been total and, possibly, irreversible.

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Stefon Diggs and Cardi B Viral Boat Video Prompts Response from Patriots Coach
Stefon Diggs and Cardi B Viral Boat Video Prompts Response from Patriots Coach

Iโ€™ve never been a kumbaya-ass nigga who gave any proper shits about โ€œdiscourseโ€ and โ€œdecorumโ€ when the status quo requires disruption. Basically, Iโ€™ve never been a white male columnist at a legacy publication. But Trumpโ€™s relentless smallness has been a mass pollinator, and I think weโ€™ve collectively become more like him here, instead of less. Of course, he ainโ€™t invent petty, but he did help shift it from being considered a negative personal attribute to a badge. A business card. An emblem. Say it loud. Weโ€™re pettier and proud.

I know this is an aggressively nebulous assertion with no way to prove, but I feel like being led by a white man whoโ€™s never apologized for shitโ€”and whoโ€™s appointed white men and women whoโ€™ve also never apologized for shitโ€”has made us apologize to each other less. Again though, I have no proof of this, and I will not apologize for that. (Shit! It got me too!)

The compulsion to rebrand something as malevolent and antagonistic as the MAGA ball cap makes sense! The execution, however, never does. Never did. Never will. What actually happens, when โ€œMake America Great Againโ€ is replaced with a cheeky or progressive slogan while keeping the same font and color scheme, is the exact same thing that happens when itโ€™s the original. If Iโ€™m 50 feet from you, I see the color and the font and assume itโ€™s a MAGA hat, and my fight-or-flight immediately engages. By the time Iโ€™m close enough to see itโ€™s a parody hat, Iโ€™m already deep in โ€œFuck this dudeโ€ mode. And then, instead of feeling relief that itโ€™s a clever slogan instead of Make America Great Again, Iโ€™m just annoyed as fuck.

Also, parody hats just make Trumpโ€™s MAGA branding even more ubiquitous. It literally (and effectively) does the thing it was created to combat. Itโ€™s not subverting. Itโ€™s assisting. (And, if you squint, itโ€™s plagiarizing too.)

Anyway, Iโ€™m sorry if this compels you to throw your MAGA parody hats and shirts in the trash. Actually, no Iโ€™m not. Nevermind.ย 


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