One of my bestest homegirls called me up wondering what kind of gift she could give her man this Valentine’s Day that would send a message that would last all year. So, I sent her a list and thought I’d share it with my Roots ladies as well.
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So, as a public service, I present…10 Valentines That Will Put Him On Notice
1. SlimFast —- Pointedly cruel, yet undeniably refreshing.
2. Speed Stick (unscented) –- Just a lil personal hygiene goes a long way.
3. The want ads—- Jobs don’t find themselves.
4. Rogaine—- Because baldness has overthrown his Caeser. Clearly.
5. Breathe mint—- He likes Chipoltle, but Chipoltle don’t like him.
6. Chamomile Tea—- Says “you’re not getting any loving tonight, so you might as well get some sleep.”
7. Marriage license—- Time to buy the cow or go soy, homie….
8. Toilet Time Targets —- He can manage a corporation but he can’t pee straight? Seriously?
9. G-String and a Feather Duster—- Maybe it’s time for him to earn his keep.
10. Cookbook—- Just because you can’t cook doesn’t mean he shouldn’t.
Single Father, Author, Screenwriter, Award-Winning Journalist, NPR Moderator, Lecturer and College Professor. Habitual Line-Stepper
Straight From 
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